One Spectacular Day of Indulgence After Another......

A glorious day in the life of me…….A sample of a long list of equally divine days…….

We had just spent the night at the most amazingly beautiful campsite on planet earth, whereupon Kelly and I woke up to a pink-orange blazing sunrise over the stunning headlands in Marlborough sounds as the glassy turquoise water reflected the light and clouds and the sun rose slowly, piercing the damp morning air. Boats in the tiny harbor waded and turned with the non-existent swell as miniature waves kissed the sand beach two meters in front of the van. A giant black stingray cruised the shallow area just in front of the beach. I gazed out at all of this beauty from the comfort of my luxurious bed. In my van.

Next up, The Chit Chat Challenge. If puzzled, please refer to Chit Chat blog entry.

We bought an ‘off brand’ version of the Chit Chat to compare during the aforementioned ritual. We have to be ABSOLUTELY certain that the Chit Chat is the best cookie (biscuit as they call here, which is a term I actually prefer using since it seems like you are eating something a wee bit less naughty than a ‘cookie’, as in “Why yes, Kelly, I would truly enjoy a ‘biscuit’ with my coffee, thanks very much for asking!”) After two go’s with the Woolworth off-brand Chit Chat and one go with the regular Chit Chat, we concurred that the original Chit Chat was still the best choice, but the Woolworth off-brand was a close second (third being original Tim Tams and fourth, if we were in dire straits and there was absolutely nothing left in the supermarket with sugar in it, would be Budget brand) and thus the Woolworths brand would be honorably considered when buying mass quantities of Chit Chats when said Chit Chats were not on sale. You see, the Woolworth brand is actually one dollar cheaper when comparing regular prices (but not sale prices). Circumstances that would allow for the buying of bulk amounts of Chit Chats would be under the following terms: 1) Sale 2) Heading into rural areas where status of supermarket supplies is unknown 3) General greediness

Now that the first hour of this oh-so-magnificent day was underway, we launched into the next phase……..

We headed towards the green shell mussel capital of the world. Next stop, lunch of course!!!!! One grilled combo platter (herb, butter, garlic/cheese, bacon/creamy mushroom/sweet chili) and one steamed pot (cilantro, chili, coconut milk) of giant fat bellied green shell mussels straight from the ocean later at The Mussel Pot, we shamelessly declared that this was the best day ever, I mean how could it get better than this, really? Our experience at The Mussel Pot was only improved as we left and I insisted on juxtaposing Kelly’s open mouth next to the giant faux pot of mussels resting atop the roof of the restaurant. When I crouched down on the sidewalk and ordered her to move this way and that, and do this and put your hand like this and oh great that is perfect, I now have a photo of her eating out of a giant pot of mussels on the roof of a restaurant. Wicked.

Sundresses and sunglasses on, our bellies full and our spirits high, we cruised towards our next destination, which admittedly had taken several discussions to even decide on, only because we had so many options and so many things we wanted to do, where does one begin, really?

As we cruised along, smiles firmly in place listening to Janet Jackson’s ‘A Decade of Design’ we somehow missed our turn to go to Picton. It must have been in the brief moment that I took my eyes off the road and snarled at Kelly “No, my first name ain’t baby, it’s Janet, Miss Jackson if you’re nasty”

Anyway, regardless of who is to blame for this seemingly unfortunate blunder, myself, the ever-so-distracted driver, Kelly, my exceptional navigator, or Miss Jackson, approaching on the horizon was another green road sign which would hopefully point us in the right direction. Oh and did it ever!

‘Bypass to Picton’ is apparently Kiwi code for ‘Vineyards and lots of them, right this way’. Within seconds we are cruising past row after row of grape vines and sign after sign for this vineyard and that winery. My heart began to flutter with excitement as I realized a buzz would soon be within the reach of my hot little hands and I turned to Kelly. “Where the f*** do we begin? I feel like I am at an all-you-can-eat buffet and I don’t know where to start!’ I demanded, slightly more aggressively than intended. We realized then and there, we were no longer going to Picton. This was the most gloriously perfect wrong turn I have ever taken in my life. And I am pretty sure it will remain as such until the day I leave this life.

We descended upon Cloudy Bay, a smart, snazzy little place with great wine and friendly staff. We prompty decided to have lunch there the next day, although we were still practically bursting at the seams from our mussel-fest. Next stop Bouldevines whereupon we received some very friendly advice regarding best wineries and best lunches (also very important, still thinking about a meal that is going to happen in 24 hours). Then, oh what do we have here, a chocolate factory smack-dab in the middle of vineyard universe? What a brilliant idea! Two free samples later and a bit of drooling, we were off to our final wine destination for the day, Montana, which was a bit out of town. One silly, minor, and in hindsight rather harmlessly insignificant traffic mistake later involving a narrow bridge, an oncoming tractor trailer truck and a bit of blasphemy, we arrived intact at Montana, which I now would like to affectionately refer to as ‘wine and hammock utopia’. We sampled some wine and layed in a sun drenched hammock discussing life and food and our plan for attack (I like to think of my style of visiting tasting rooms as more of an attack, rather than a ‘visit’, as ‘visit’ implies some sort of civility, order and manners, like a tea party with grandma or something). We decided the best way to not get deported for criminal drunk driving (not sure if that is even possible but I had a feeling that if it was, it would happen to me in Marlborough, as I really like Sauvignon Blanc AND Pinot Noir) is to rent bikes and be inappropriate and disorderly via two skinny tires as opposed to four big fat ones?! What logic is that? Oh right, the kind that makes all ideas seem like good ones at the time, after a few glasses of old grape juice…..A day of this caliber could only be ended with one very simple pleasure of mine that, at times in the past month have been few and far between, and that my friends, is a good hot shower. Living out of a van has its perks for sure, but I wouldn’t necessarily argue that daily hot showers are one of them. Nor would I argue that it is mandatory or even slightly important. But oh are they good when you get one, definitely worth waiting for, and well deserved and appreciated for the ten minutes of sheer ecstasy that it provides.

Anyway as verbose as this description is, and although I have left out lots of other decadent, and oh-so-self-indulgent moments, this is a pretty good sample of a day in the life of my travels. Its pretty good to be me. I reckon so.

Happiness is a Chit Chat

Back again after an inappropriately long hiatus.

Still in NZ. 

But not working.

YES!

I have purchased a van with a 'rebuilt' engine and a 'warranty'......

I quote these things because the 'kiwi-as' man that I bought the van from claimed both of these things. Whilst telling me that the van has a good bid (bed).

She ain't pretty but she purrs like a kitty. So I named her Kitty. Kitty is a bit banged up, for example the grotesquely large dent just behind the driver side door. It looks like someone in a large truck with a snowplow attached to the front hit Kitty at a ninety degree angle.

The two roll down windows don't really roll up COMPLETELY you see, but it would really only be a huge devastating problem when and if the rain decided to rain from the ground up and I drove in reverse everywhere.

Which may have happened in a dream I had last night.

My dreams have been weird lately, well my whole life really. I attribute it to having the nasty habit of eating sugary sweets before bed.  It's the only consistent thing that I do that could explain this recurring phenomenon.

Lately I have been eating naughty stuff in the morning too, which sets the tone for a naughty eating day, but its so hard since I have discovered the most amazing thing the whole world. Well, in New Zealand anyway.

Its a little somethin' called a Chit Chat. Which is a rectangular three tiered chocolate covered cookie. But its no ordinary cookie my friends. Its magical!

The most delicious way to consume a Chit Chat is with a cup of coffee. But there is a very special technique that must be used or it is really sacreligious not to marry the two in a glorious culinary masterpiece. 

What you do is this......

Start by making yourself a wickedly steamy cup of good coffee, however you like it.  My personal favorite is with a smidge of Baileys. Well more than a smidge. Which brings me back to the naughty start to the day. Which is a dangerously viscious everlasting circle. But anyway....

Prepare yourself by placing a Chit Chat next to your chosen cup of coffee.  Seat yourself comfortably in front of aforementioned items. Dip ever so slightly and cautiously one side of the Chit Chat (which is the shape of a rounded rectangle) into the coffee for five seconds.  Remove from coffee and bite off the end. Repeat process on the other end of Chit Chat. Now you have made the proper preparations for the most amazing sweet sensation of your life....Get ready......

Now place one bitten end of the Chit Chat in your mouth and dip the other end gently into the coffee.  Now you are ready to use the Chit Chat as a coffee straw.  Suck the coffee through, yes THROUGH the Chit Chat until you feel the sensation to stop. You will know when this is because the Chit Chat becomes soggyish and unable to be manipulated further as a straw.  At this precise moment, shove the entire remaining Chit Chat in your mouth and feel free to moan in ecstasy as the most amazingly delightful chocolate coffee explosion fills your mouth. It's intense.  One of the masters of the Chit Chat ritual actually hugs himself afterwards. Yes, it IS that good.

The most important thing to remember when dining on Chit Chats in this fashion is to be extremely careful not to bite off too much off each end of the Chit Chat, therefore rendering your 'straw' useless. One would not be able to utilize the 'straw' in its full potential capacity, which is, in essence, the whole point of the process.

The only problem that I have with Chit Chats so far is that they only sell them in single serving sizes.  What I mean is, a day supply.  Eleven cookies is, in my frugal opinion, not even close to enough cookies ('servings') to put in a package. So what ends up happening is they get consumed unabashedly until they are gone, which is usually an embarrassingly small amount of time.  Eleven cookies? Really?  Who hasn't had eleven Oreos in a day before?  Anybody?  Ok nevermind, I will return to my utopia now....